HELLO I´M BACK DID YOU MISS ME I MISSED YOU!
First of all I must thank my generous Patreon supporters. Faithfully you have been supporting my blog writing for around a year- without me actually blogging. That takes… trust.
And thank you for your kind emails, your comments and general support.
I´m trying to do something here… I couldn´t do it without the resonance that slowly, fast, seeps back to me, nurtures me, holds me but also lets me go when I need some quiet time.
It´s an amazing thing and truly appreciate it- like I appreciate the annual spruce tip jam ritual. Revitalising!
It has to do with pause and with happiness.
I think one of the biggest characteristics of modern civilization is that we are NEVER allowed to take a step back, breathe, relax.
This is not so much an outer circumstance (jobs, obligations) as an inner circumstance as well; to be productive, always be productive. Maximize. Be efficient. Produce!
I have had the hardest time letting go of all that (which is why this break had to happen) not at least because I, given the general state of fucked upness our culture faces, felt obliged to “do something”.
Activist burnout is a thing and I have never, in my life, been as active as the last six years; active in my daily life, in the woods, active in my head, active on the blog, in the media, in the culture.
Which is good!
We went to the woods because we felt dead.
We went to the woods to rekindle ourselves and so we did. I´m happy for everything that has happened.
Which leads me to the second thing I have been contemplating about
The conclusion I have reached, in this white cocoon of mine, is that I think happiness have been colonized by capitalism.
Culture DEMANDS us to be happy and so naturally I have refused (being the stubborn, oppositional character that I am). Also happiness have been placed within a very rigid framework of beauty, light, balance, harmony (meaning; effective)
That’s not happiness at all for me.
I realized this and it was a giant revelation for me. In nature I experience a deep, earthy, muddy, windy kind of happiness, a happiness of life and death, a happiness of depth.
I can´t do the shallow dancing. I can only do the weird.
So when I found happiness, here in our new home, this new setting, I didn´t have the words… it was (it is) a happiness unknown to me.
It´s not at all like they tell you it is. It´s contradictory. It´s so beautiful!
(and I couldn’t have found it without doing what we did, fighting like we did, searching like we did)
Being stuck in a story.
We still live off grid, primitive in the wild but I still have this massive sense that we turned the page, closed the chapter, something new have begun. So this blog became like an old, loved, book, shining from the book shelf, until I realized that that’s not what I do. I don´t do trophies. I do PROCES.
Therefore this blog will now take a different turn. If you are here to read about how to grow vegetables, forage, do the wilderness living… that won´t be the focus but it might be the content (maybe some of you will link to some great blogs in the comments on these topics?), nor will I commit to writing exclusively on sustainability, climate activism or… anything, really. See, I follow the dark paths in the forest now, deeper, deeper, in.
As of lately I have been hanging out in the undergrowth, in the root cellar, I have been speaking with the spirits and the plants and that’s just how it is.
I’ll see where it leads.
And I will, as always, chronicle my journey- not to be productive but because it feels good, it feels good, it feels good.
I made some changes to the layout here and added a new FAQ because I keep getting questions.
I´m working on a book right now on norse mythology/asatru, it´s been gestating in the silence, like a baby I have carried it within me.
I’ve been writing columns for newspapers Information and Politiken– but mostly I’ve been drinking tea and looking at trees. I don’t know about the american publication of my book pioneers press have had a busy time but the book will be out in german this fall.
We’re all good.
I´m happy to be back!