The pioneer way

The honest truth is that I don’t understand it and more so took it as a slap in the face – spiritually. This what not supposed to happen. Everything was laid out perfectly; the land was a treasure, I took it, I considered it mine. I DESERVED it.

I see now what I did wrong.

Kind of like that pioneer way´s original sin, isn’t it?

 

 
This has been a humbling experience and it bothered me because I truly, honestly, wholeheartedly believe that I have been humbled enough. It´s enough now. I can’t take anymore.
I gave gifts to the land, I spoke to it, I did everything I have learned how to do during these last 10 years as a seidr-worker (nordic shamanism)
I took omens. I sacrificed.
– but you can’t make land yours if it is not-

We went to the frontier not having any choices, we didn’t have choices, we didn´t. We CREATED the choices we have now. And so we decided that it was our choice now to relocate to an area that would feel more natural to us- not out of lack of love for the Vármland forest, no, no, no, no. The forest has given us so much, it´s been good to us. So no. It was because if we could CHOOSE we would choose a frontier a little closer to home.
Elderberry trees and oak trees, blackthorn, rose hips and rolling hills. It´s in the marrow/memory of my bone, it’s where I belong.
But I did it wrong. I must have done it wrong.

 

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“Go back to your own country” is a sentence shaping my culture right now, it´s been shouting at people fleeing war, refugee camps are being burned down to the ground – but everybody´s forgetting that we too, our ancestors, travelled to a new land (America) even if it didn’t belong to them, even if somebody else lived there, they took it.
We wanted to be a new kind of pioneers.
We wanted to travel to our OWN land, we wanted take our OWN land (back)- not be white colonizers, not be missionaries.

But then we were, weren’t we?

You asked me “how does one do it?” and I said yadi yadi and then something about my own personal feelings.
How does one rewild? How does one leave, how does one settle? What is the pioneer life like?
I´d say:
It´s hard, lonely and filled with fear, it is not something you do BAM and then succes, eternal bliss, done.
It is beauty. It is meaning. It is whole.

… but truth be told: I don’t know.

The only thing I know is, that there is something about the land, something I don’t understand, something I need to understand. A lost knowledge. A cut thread.

It begins with the land.
It has to do with the land.

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6 thoughts on “The pioneer way

  1. Thank you for your honesty and for your words about the need to be humble. Humble doesn’t go very well with modern society. But it’s a necessity to be level with yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Before we came up north, we lived down south. Much south. We had to escape for some reason, and we did not want anything to do with the Romans. It was a long journey over turkey, balkans, caucasia, russia, to – finally – Scandinvia. We lived here for long. We had neighbours, we traded long distance as well as short. We thrived. Then came the church, and we had to flee again. That, convert, or die. Emigration to America was in hope. Former emigrations was by need. Force, even. Refugees we were.

    As for the land, it drew mme here. It made me post this. Be patient. The land is not yours. It is not theirs. But, it certainly is.

    I choose anonymity. Mt name is not important.

    One last word: Thanks.

    Like

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