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In birth

I´m in birth.
I realize.
I cannot control this proces. The more I fight it – the more it hurts.
I am a mother. I have given birth many times. I know how to give birth yet I also know I can die from it.
This is no game.
This is bloody serious.

My body. Push. Push. These nerveendings. These cramps. All of the water. Mesmerized, watching, what is this? I don´t think this is my doing. I am a vessel merely. A transmission.
Alienated. Sweating. Swearing.
Push. Push.
There is no going back. There is no stopping it. There is no will. Only the greater will.
What is happening to me? No time to think. Push. Push.

I worry for the child. I don´t know the child. I am angry because of the pain, my BONES are falling apart, my whole body wringed, twisted and scewed, I am mountains, I am open wound, I am a force of nature.
I worry for the child. I hope the child will be ok.

I scream.
Desperation. When will this stop? Will this ever stop? I cannot go on anymore! I scream! COME ON I scream, I want someone to save me, eyes wide open. “I cannot do this!”

Push. Push.
They scream.
I think of mothers before me. All of the labour. I think “maybe they knew more”, I think “maybe they were better equiped” I think “I am nobody” I think “I cannot” . There is surrender, there is collapse, there is no escape, there is no stopping it. I see 3 giant women in the horizon, this is in the other-world, the veil for my eyes, the milky membrane. The wade through mud and oceans, over burial mounds, the wade towards me to tear me apart, to rip me right open, to eat my marrow, I wellcome them, when it is done it will be done, I close my eyes, I might die, it´s ok if I die,  I scream, I push, I push.

I´m in birth.
I realize.

Took me too long to realize.
How can one not realize.
I don´t get it.

I´ve been pregnant for four years, hence the burden, the tired body, the swollen limps. I have been nurturing something underneath my heart. Hence the hunger.

I don´t know if I will survive this pain.

Mud. Blood. Muscles.Slime. Water. Body. Body. Body. Body.
Instinct. Strained.
The more I fight it the more it hurts.

When all of this is over the child will be placed now above my heart. I will look into infinity and I will protect that child forever, I know, I swear, a mothers pledge.

No pictures. No links. No nothing.

I think we are in birth. I think we are in labor.

19 comments on “In birth

  1. That is the best poem to giving birth I have ever read. It is the best metaphor for process I have ever heard.

    Maybe this is why mothers should be in politics more because they know how to bear down and get it done even when it hurts. And it hurts a LOT! (Surrender to body. Body tells you what you are doing. You do it even if you don’t want to. Who wants to? You do it anyway.)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know…. A woman with that much power. Men are just predictable,linear thinking simpletons and you know how and why they will abuse that power. A woman on the other hand……

      If we’re all giving birth? Don’t know that either, but something is going on. I am absolutely astonished by the amount of countermovement that is going on these days! On all sorts of topics and levels! And those are gaining momentum. Something will have to give eventually.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. ALL men aren’t linear thinking simpletons. You’re an example. Right now. ALL women aren’t wholistic thinkers. But I do think we could use more women in politics.

        I, too, see a big upswelling of counter-movement. It’s very encouraging.

        I am very worried about the folks in Syria who are willing to do ANYthing. I’m worried they will start WW3. Tell me. They are too small to do anything really, right? They will be gad flies and irritate the Elephants. The Elephants are doing something. But they will never stop and I’m worried they will get their hands on the Big Bomb and use it. They are Kamikazes and Truman used the Big Bomb on them to get them to stop.

        I wish they were like Ghandi. He and his supporters freed India with peaceful resistance. But wishes are nothing.


        1. I was generalising of course. You want more women in politics? Look at the women in politics today…. It does take a certain breed with a certain mindset to even get ahead in that field of ehhmmm… work.

          And as for my example, well in the past I have had the occasional question or remark regarding my sexual orientation, so to speak. Due to my sensitivities and other “typically female” characterics.

          WW3 is already here, dear and it has been for a good number of years. They’re just stepping it up. The folks is Syria are being backed and actively supported by a much larger force, that really is very close to your home. Paris was just another false flag operation. Anyone can see that, if they want to. Just google paris false flag and be amazed or scared by what comes up. Awfully familiar with the Charlie Hebdo-thing and, dare I say it, 9/11.
          It’s an all devouring monstrosity that is using the gad flies to get elephants irritated. And some of these elephants know that all too well and play along because it suits them.

          Wishes are the start of everything, because they will instigate action.


          1. This is what I like about you. You’re an average guy puttering about going to woods retreats and so forth. Then I up and ask a question and all of a sudden this insightful and knowledgeable guy answers with an answer that makes me really think. Awesome. And thank you.

            I’m glad WW3 has not used the Big Bomb yet. At least they have not used the Big Bomb yet.

            I’ve never heard of paris false flag. I’m going to look into that.

            Thank you Andrea for providing the format and inspiration for us to discuss things and inform each other.


          2. OK before I go out in the cold wind to feed the livestock… I looked up false flag and I couldn’t find anything that was simply stated. I wanted to get a definition. I zeroed in on Matt Drudge. His essay seemed to be the clearest and so I think I understand now. My reaction? It seems like a script for a movie. In the scenario an insider of the government conspiracy comes forth a la Deep Throat and spills the beans with incontrovertible proof. Then the skeptics (I’m one) would have to agree. At this point it seems like the proponents of false flag are taking incidents and observations and giving hem meaning that add up to false flag. I saw this and this and this and it must mean this! Where is the proof that the statements they make are actual? Even their facts could be slightly off or even way off. Who knows? They make statements but don’t cite where they came from. It’s hard to believe without proof.

            I told my husband that there is one example where someone was caught in lies and fabrications and that was Bush fils who told the American people there’s enrichment tubes in Irag and he’s hiding terrorists so we need to go in there and get him! So I’m not saying false flag is total delusion. I’m just saying we need to get an insider to come forth with incontrovertible proof.

            I hope I inspire a healthy, civil discussion


            1. The only ones that are able to give cold, hard and extensible proof of those operations are the ones planning and executing them. And you can guess how often that happens.
              The only way to uncover a false flag operation is to look at the story that is being told and how they tell it and alter it and maybe even try to cover it up. Then compare that to the evidence that is actually available (footage, pictures etc). One of the first things you will notice is that the two do not match. Which would then raise the question as to why. And who would benefit. Takes some digging though.
              And of course are those sources exposing that all being ridiculed, made fools of or otherwise made less plausible. And critics, like you for example, only want to believe the official story, because many can not face the actual, ugly and very disturbing reality. The reality of our own leaders and their henchmen selling us out on a massive scale. Even killing their own! Just for power and profit!
              To absurd (or painful) to believe. A standard human reaction. Denial.

              Take Paris as an example. Many details, stories and footage shown simply do not add up, proved to be outright wrong or were trying to be covered up.
              Some major fuck ups were the airing of your Geraldo on US tv, claiming his daughter was there and felt the heat of the attack…. only 2 days BEFORE the incidents happened.
              Paris emergency services had a planned and executed drill regarding a major terrorist attack with gunfire and bombings planned on the very morning of the attacks. And many drills have been done prior to that. Just as 9/11 coincidently.
              A good deal of sources I used are not longer there. They’re gone. Why might one ask??

              In short; a false flag is an incident deliberately created to fool people into thinking that which you want them to think in order to get them to do what you want them to do.
              That is what is going on today; the ones in charge want the sheeple to behave in a certain way and in order to do that they create the problem, then the reaction and than the solution. The problem is terrorism and in absence of that, you create that (a false flag). So called muslims bomb and shoot civilians or wage war in a country. You then create a general reaction by having corporate media blaring out that it is the muslims we should fear and hate, waving any shred of (created) information in our faces time and time again and once that is accomplished you present the solution: all out war and limitations on the personal lives of the sheeple in order to control them even more.

              Possible reasons for the Paris incidents;
              1) a very large population in France is muslim and creating a strong anti muslim feeling is desired by French officials. Why? People in France were against France getting involved in Syria. France has a huge weapons industry, who supply the middle east with said product and of course its own military.
              2) French officials immediately placed the entire country under curfew, banning protest marches for instance and closing the c´borders for anyone going IN or OUT. How convenient just before the big climate conference, which was promising a lot of attention and fireworks, very much NOT to the liking of the high ranking international officials attending and their corporate bosses.
              3) almost immediately after the incidents the EU called for further limiting legal gun ownership among its citizens using the incidents as a reason to do so. As if limiting hunting weapons and pistols would lesson terrorist attacks and the illegal selling of automatic weapons. It does however further unarm the general population that is beginning to speak up and noncomply with the EU and their absurd rules.

              Want some more interesting stuff to read?
              Google “reasons for Paris attacks”…
              Here are some hits:

              Grab a chair and a can of coffee. Pleasant reading, Renée.


              1. Thank you Ron. I have some reading to do here. We just saw a movie this afternoon on a different subject. It was called “Spotlight”. It was about the efforts of the Boston Globe to expose catholic church collusion in covering up priest misbehavior. Molesting children mostly. They were successful. We had lots of thoughts about this. We came away with the general feeling that the human race needs to experience sweeping changes about how it goes about things. I’m not going to go into it here. I’m going to write a post on my own blog. Change for the human race is part and parcel to the climate conference. Human race behavior changes at our very core is what is needed but…

                Albert Einstein — ‘We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them’

                So I don’t think solutions are going to be easy to accomplish for a long long while. We’ll pick away at it with great patience. Like the ocean waves beating the rocks on the shore to make them into soft round pebbles. We start with ourselves.


        2. Olive says:

          Respectfully, those madmen in Syria are bought and paid for mercenaries of the US and Europe, and the gulf arab states. We hate them too. Everyone here does, the difference is we are wondering how far empire will go to create chaos on its way out the door…..Those guys are not capable of tying their own shoes without extensive support from abroad. Please don’t believe anything in your media. It is all propaganda at this point, lies and half-truths. If anybody wants an end to this it is the people in the Levant!


          1. Olive says:

            Sorry Ron, had not seen your comment yet!


          2. I would love to know more about what you say. I would love to just say OK now I have a different opinion after just reading what you said. But I can’t without more information. How do you KNOW they are “bought and paid for mercenaries of the US, Europe and Arab States? It flies in the face of logic but I have an open mind so tell me where to learn more. Thank you! 🙂


  2. Dorte says:

    Wow. I recognice. So it is. Thank you for sharing!
    I don’t know what has happened all these years – I followed you intensely when you started your journey, and to day I opened “your perspective ” again and read about this total experience of pain, birth and trust in what will come.
    Thank you Andrea. You have a strong and clear voice and my own pain melts in with yours and become a power – a power that is needed.
    Love to your courage.
    Light to all. And
    Trust in the individual way of awakening!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Astrid Regine Wiinberg says:

    Altså. Jeg havde en hel skålfuld cherrytomater foran mig da jeg begyndte læsningen af dette indlæg. Proportionelt med at linjerne blev færre, øgedes tempoet med hvilket tomaterne blev indtaget. Som så jeg en gyser. Nu er der ikke flere. Måske fordi jeg sådan kødeligt, fysisk, går i fødsel engang til juni. Måske fordi jeg er så 110% enig med ovenstående kommentar omkring præcisionen af metaforen for hvad der sker. På utallige planer. I get it, I feel it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wooot??? Tillykke, mand!!! 🙂


  4. Benedikte Exner says:

    Thank you –
    “Mother Earth is in birth” are the words that come to me now.
    Much love to all of you in your personal – and our mutual – processes..

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I just really appreciate your comments, thoughts and perspectives. Wanted to let you know.
    Courage and strenght!


  6. Anita Christensen says:

    En engel til dig fra mig som med stor fryd læser dine breve. Tak

    Sendt fra min iPhone

    > Den 21/11/2015 kl. 16.53 skrev Andrea Hejlskov : > > >


  7. Dear andrea
    It is late for me to be chiming in, but I want to tell you that you have my proxy, for Paris.
    I am not aware of any other as well qualified as you to speak your words for mine.
    I wish it were possible to gather up all the other proxies you can bring with you to Paris, through Facebook or this blog? Ask for them! See how many you get.
    Then you can show how many you are legitimately representing.
    In gratitude,
    ~ Abigail


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