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and I hope you do, will.

I was in Denmark the day after the election. I don´t think I´ve ever seen my country like that. Quiet. Shocked.
People on the streets staring into the abyss of the pavement, friends looking each other in the eyes “I don´t even know what to say…”

For so long we´ve been living in the illusion that democracy is a gimmick and nothing really matters anymore… but then came the election.
I´ve been telling you for years. “The facists are coming! The fascists are coming!” I said and you smiled, forgivingly.
Well now they´re here and the real shocker is that they´re US.

The emigrant hostile party of Dansk Folkeparty won. They won big. Can´t blame the people who voted for them though (then you´d be an intolerant bleeding heart humanist) for the scenario is no longer post-apocalyptic, it´s real: Europe is building a fortress out of iron and stone, giant walls all around us, guards with machine guns aiming at drowning children.
The refugees may die, we do what we do to protect ourselves, such is the credo. And they won.
“Be a good looser” they say.

Raise your concerns and you´ve got the whole pack aiming for your throat. It´s better to be quiet. Everyone is so quiet.

They want the guarded borders back. They want the emigrants who don´t wag the tale out. Gays, artists, intellectuals… none of that matters anymore. Set the table. Red and white squares. Sing the song. Drink the ale. Eat the (tortured) pig.

*

My son is in trouble.

I drove all night down through Sweden to be with him.
I´m going to stay right here for at least a month, until I know more. My instincts are tense and alert.

I´m going to stay in this country for as long as it takes.

While I´m in this country, while I observe…. I listen to the murmur.
On the right side of the ocean. On the wrong side of the wall.
My two feet, my two eyes, present at the war.

DSCF3341

They want to run to the woods. They want to escape. They want to throw the towel into the ring, they whisper that´s it´s becomming dangerous, better to leave but I don´t think they will.

A new reality is already settling, once it´s fallen into shape we´ll accept it just as we have accepted the destruction of the planet and the exploitation of the poor.
We probably wont even do anything when they load the emigrants onto animal transports and the train disappears, it disappears and now it´s gone.

My son is sick and so is my country. So is the planet and so are we.
I won´t use this space to write about my son but I can tell you this: more than ever I know now what to do.
I found certainty in my instincts.
Humans don´t give up. It´s not in our nature.
We pray, we hope, we fight, we negotiate. That´s what we do. That´s what I´ll do.
Can´t change the things outside on my control- but I can expand my motherly love, I can shape it into a golden halo of light, I can lay my hands on my childs shoulder, I can look him in the eyes, I can be there, in the pain, I can find meaning in others but not in my self alone.

I think you should stop talking about running to the woods unless you actually mean it.
Make believe and pretending won´t get us out of this situation. The dangers are very real, the situation is very tense, this is life at the edges

DSCF3348

So you´re shoked, shaken by life and death, your eyes wide open. All of us have a choice, this is the choice:

“To be or not to be

that is the question

whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer

the stings and arrows of an outrageous fortune

or to take arms against a sea of trouble

and by opposing overcome them”

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My friends lend me their summer house. This is where I´ll live for now, Thunderboy and husband holding down the fort.
In the forest.

I bought this postcard and placed it in front of the computer. It makes me think of the conversations that has taken place on this blog lately. I´ve realized why it´s easier for me to put into the words the hurt and the sorrow, why it´s difficult to write about the joy and the bliss. It´s because we write to fix what is broken. This is how you fix what is broken:

Look at the wound. Recognize that it´s there.
Lick it to clean it. It´s disgusting but you have to do it. You have to clean it.
When it´s clean you let the holy air and the difficult time do their task.
Maybe you want to sprinkle the wound with herbs, rub it with ointments… but then comes the real challenge.
You place your hands on the wound.
You let love and light flow from your hand (meaning: you actions) into the wound- and so you heal the motherfucking wound, you fix what is broken. There is nothing more to say. You know what to do.

This is what we do now.

13 comments on “What we do now

  1. Ok… sorry to hear this – good luck ❤
    Healing thoughts for your son, and thanks again and again for blog and tale-telling photos.

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  2. Christina says:

    Hope your son will be ok soon ❤ Nothing is more painful than a mothers heart, when her child is not ok.
    I actually think it's good that people talk about running to the woods, even though it's just talk. Because what might just be talk now, could some day be action. Talking about it is maybe a way of gathering the courage. It could lead others, who are sick of the "modern civilization", on the track of hope and a new beginning, when they hear others whisper about such things. Talk is good – it's a start 🙂

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  3. Dear andrea
    I too was shocked.
    How does Denmark vote? Electronically? Is your vote verifiable? Is there a possibility of election fraud?
    I recall being shocked back when the fogh-Rasmussen gov’t was elected–didn’t seem right, and he used it to shove Denmark to the right and into the arms of the five eyes surveillance alliance through the ? (can’t recall the operation name. Scepter? Prism?) program. Now his reward is NATO, where he continues to act in the interests of neo-liberalism, push for dangerous policies in Ukraine, etc. Similar with Harper gov’t in Canada, Canadians were shocked, no one could recall voting his party, yet there he was, leading a gov’t.
    But a country can also elect someone who promises all the right sounding policies and then ignore the promises once elected, such as situation in US.
    Don’t despair. Cannot think of a example just now but sometimes one undesireable event leads to the needed corrections.
    We need more whistle blowers to help us see what is going on behind the scenes. We need to understand how we are being played. don’t stop asking questions, plan to demonstrate.
    (I remember a long time ago,1971, I was visiting my sister, a student, in munich and being shocked by the numbers of gastarbeiters. I couldn’t help thinking, don’t the Germans see that down the road this policy is leading to BIG PROBLEMS?)
    Hope you are able to keep on posting to us–
    ~ Abigail

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  4. Pernille says:

    Your describe of the present election couldn’t be more precise.
    I agree in your observations. The election much be seen a picture of how narrow-minded a large group of the Danes has become. I am also shocked over the the intellectual deroute of the masses the last ten years. The tone in the media and among normal people is so harsh and without doubt that what they hear is the TRUTH. Others don’t care and never watch the news, because they “dont have the time”. I have observed that many people adopt mass-media propaganda without thinking of the effect for themselves or their children. I am a child of the 70s and soon the only legacy left of that decade is the music. I don’t recognize my own country any more. So sad.. but the music can still heal me.
    The war has already begun, The eyes in sky are set, there are cameras and sensors to follow your every move, we are now all guarded slaves. While it is still legal, we can stop the consumerism and the economic system will break, and with that I hope the evil powers too, who ever they are.
    My advise, to a start, will be to read a book this summer instead of buying loads of news clothes on sale. I have just finished reading a danish book of Peter Høeg, “Effekten af Susan”. I can recommend that instead of all the others “a-woman-is-killed” crimis available. The story in the book could be reality just now. And we would not have a clue.
    Have a nice healing summer, we need it. With Love.

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  5. BeeHappee says:

    Andrea, best wishes and thoughts for your boy and you. I can sense a great strength from your post. When my child succumbed to an illness with all her essence, it felt like the world fell apart. The one wish I have now is that I had strength and not fear back then to help her walk through it. Then, the illness itself showed us what it takes to not be afraid. Hope all goes well for your family.

    The election does not surprise me. What goes around comes around and so it goes, same circles. In many ways, we are so impatient with ourselves and others to want to truly change. I had been listening a bit and reading John Paul Lederach on peace, and in one of his Haiku he says:

    Don’t ask a mountain to move
    Just take a pebble
    Every time you you visit

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  6. nicoleaugust says:

    Thank you for your words.

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  7. Tricia says:

    Damn girl….:( Sending love….

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  8. When people get afraid bad things can happen. Danish people are afraid of people doing bad things in their country. So they are reacting out of fear. It’s natural for people to do this. It’s also not right that people do this but that’s what we’re working with here. Human nature.

    How can we, as a human race, stop being so fearful? I don’t even have a good answer. I know that getting older has made me less fearful. I know now that I will survive because my skills and my family and friends will support me. But not all people have this. Then it gets complicated.

    I do remember that when George Bush the younger (I called him the Dauphin) was elected. We wanted to move to some place far far away. But we didn’t. Then this country got into a peck of trouble that we’re still trying to get out of. But the country didn’t completely fall apart. We’re hanging in there.

    And your son. Wow, I hope he will be ok. Mom, you will do your best I know you will. To offer a bit of hope I can add that 5 years ago my daughter was circling the drain. So I made some serious changes and then stayed. I stayed and she stopped circling but she was not better. I stayed some more. Finally after a long time she started bootstrapping herself up. Now she is good. It took a while and it worked. Big sigh of relief. I mean “stay” in the sense that you “be” there. That you are not “checked out”. I see you are staying. That you are not checking out. You are mostly definitely checking IN. Stay, Mom. He will be OK.

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  9. ncfarmchick says:

    After reading this, I agree there is nothing left to say. Certainly, nothing I can say other than that I hear you and I’m with you, for whatever it’s worth. For whatever it’s worth to know that people you’ve never met far, far away feel for you and are holding you in their thoughts. Be well, all.

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  10. smcasson says:

    For some reason, this only just showed up in my Reader.

    Hope your son does ok. Sorry you’re seeing so much fear and urgency.

    Like

  11. Andy Jukes says:

    Sorry to hear that your son is in trouble. Sending love and hope that things work out ok.
    Same goes for Denmark. Europe. The planet. Your concerns are real. We live in times dominated by fear. We need the strength to respond with courage – to resist the urge for more fear. You are brave – that is the important thing. I hope that you can continue to be brave. For your son and for everybody else. I think that you will.

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  12. GaiaX says:

    I thought civilization was collapsing, but now I’m wondering if my worst nightmare is coming true and this culture will be able to survive on a dead planet, artificial life. I woud rather die with all other life, than live in a “1984”-like reality! Yes, I am afraid, scared to death actually, but I’m not afraid to talk about it, reality. But how do I go from thought to action? The facets of this sick culture are so many, that I don’t know where to focus my energy.

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  13. You sound surprised at the events taking place in the political arena, but it was so predictable. It had to happen sooner or later, since it is an almost natural thing to occur during deep crises; point fingers and blame “the other one”.
    I understand your anger and hurt and I feel the same, but there is no fighting it, I’m afraid. It’ll get worse. Much worse. Changing and saving the world maybe futile, but changing and saving your world is not.

    I do wish you, your family and your son all the best and strength and hope all will turn out well….

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