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Green front

So suddenly the day was night and the world became dark, we had a solar eclipse on equinox, all the planets and the stars aligned, body and mind united in a frantic moment of stand-still.
It was weird.

Next day we woke up to white hail on the ground.
You know my last name Hejl skov? Hail. Forest. I felt at home. And you know how I never feel at home? And you know how the world can be damp and heavily breathing? And you know how the world can be light as a bright song, a flickering white shadow?

Drinking morning cofee by the wood burning stove. Working on an essay. Driving all the way into town to get a real shower. Building two garden beds. Making a fire. Raking around. Moving old window frames. Chasing the escapist hens. Eating gullash for dinner.
Sunny.

Lighting the fire in the fireplace. Him working on his music, me reading a book, thunderboy creating lego spaceships, dog snoring. Head will hit pillow in a minute, tired all the way through.

That´s what I did today and these are pictures of the road that leads home.

DSCF1686

DSCF1704

I think this is life of both withdrawal and resistance. I think this is a life of both struggle and peace. Leaving home. Coming home. War zones and comfort zones.
It is MOVING.
Whisper. Shout. Dance. It is possible to do many things, have many emotions, our thinking have become so polarised but the poles are melting!

When we´re out in the world we call it “Green front” and then we salute each other and nod in recognition of the work that we do because work is being done you know, people are rising, picking themselves up from the floor, whispering, shouting, dancing-  things have begun to change and the key word seems to be kindness.
Well anyway, we call it “green front” and sometimes, brief moments in time (like right now) I have hope. More and more good people crawling out of their caves.
Get up. Stand up.

Here´s some music videos by my friend Persille and my husband Jeppe, they have a band named “Udskud” and they are crowdfunding money to produce a knock out soundtrack for green transition in Denmark.

I´m in love with the man, I like his muscles and he makes me laugh (even if I´ll divorce him a hundred times every winter) I like the way he is bursting with music, trumpets and keys (he produced and played all of the instruments on the tracks)
Who said living in the wild should be a life without music anyways, isn´t that a strange thing to expect? Silence?

I hope you will support their crowdfunding campaign (apparently the site does not allow international transactions and I think that sucks but maybe if you have a paypal account this email is wired to their project: persillei@hotmail.com) either by sharing their work wide and broad or by donating or preordering their record on the crowdfunding site.

Green transition.
This song is called “Green transition” and Persille, fabulous singer, good friend, made this video in her kitchen – a small Copenhagen apartment kitchen, a kitchen of late night crying and drinking, we were talking about a revolution, talking about a revolution.
Jeppe and Persille are trying to give a voice to the growing discomfort and the nagging truths- but they are also trying to sex up the debate about climate change, biodiversity, permaculture, green transition and sustainability (plus they´re funny)
I said sex.

The point of it all.
This song is called “the point of it all”. It´s a sad song and it can´t be translated because all of the single words have two meanings.
This is the verse

“It is about being able to share
that´s the point of it all
and if I could I would plant your soul
and let if grow like a chanterelle”

One last thing before I go to sleep.
I find it strikingly strange that a narcissistic culture such as our own seems to be so unnatural preoccupied with naming every resistance or act of resilience as “narcissistic”.
If you speak up within your peer group, if you have a blog, do an interview – you´re narcisistic. If your lifestyle differs from the norm – you´re narcisistic.
I´ve come to think that if anyone calls you spoiled or narcissistic it´s probably a good sign. “Narcissistic” seems to be the favorite defence mechanism of the status quo.

It took me a long time (too long, it took me forever) to realise that whenever people accused me of being narcissistic – said that living on a small-scale homestead in the wild is in essence a narcissistic project – I couldn´t argue against that. Who in this culture is NOT narcissistic?
So the name calling and the defence mechanism of the status quo worked, I began to hate myself instead of questioning these sick structures, this perverted system, this evil empire. I crawled back into my cave.
“Sorry for bothering you””No, clearly one can both eat nutella AND be a hippie”
Either or. You have to choose. Are you in or are you out?

Well I´m both.

And you probably are too.

And I don´t think that disqualifies you. I don´t think that means you should shut up.
I think we should all raise our voices.
Sing like the birds. Growl like the melting ice on the lake.

Right now my life is about music (and the hills are alive with music)… after that one weird solar eclipse moment when everything stood still…. I´m bursting with hope
(well that´s a lie but, you know, creative licence and such)

(ps. crowdfunding campaign)

26 comments on “Green front

  1. Bearpaws says:

    I’ll never forget the total solar eclipse we experienced in 1979?. A group of us had to travel to Helena Montana to see the totality. It was totally cloudy and disappointed us. As we headed south back to school in southern Idaho, the clouds opened up and we got to experience the total eclipse. Very eery. Birds stopped chirping. We we’re vey fortunate to experience it.

    Like

    1. Bearpaws says:

      And what great music and vocals!

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      1. A solar eclipse is just a really big moment I think, the emotional response we had was huge. I was extremely tired the day before the eclipse and on the day of the eclipse and the day after, unusual tired. And then all of the feelings that ran through my mind on those days…
        Yeah. I think we´re fortunate to experience it

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  2. Dear andrea,
    Thank you for your post. you are on a roll, by the sound of it.

    In hindsight, do the trips “out of the woods” to Denmark and The Road stimulate you and provide energy, or are they draining? What happens to the family equilibrium? Do you slip right back into the rhythm? Or is there a period of adjustment? There is such a contrast between the two modes of existence.

    It is priceless that the eclipse occurred on the equinox and that you could see it, no clouds!
    It is a deafening quiet, in my memory (1971?) with the birds flocking to roost. the world standing stock still, seeming to listen for a momentary unearthly vibration, the light becoming stained a deepening gentian violet.
    Some friends were going to climb up on a high hill dotted with glacial boulders to trip, but we decided to stay straight at home outdoors in a meadow. I still recall experiencing it as something very profound, seeing myself as this tiny, infinitesimal dot filled with awe, while the heavens wheeled on a unique appointment through vast space and time above me. feeling of loss as normal conditions returned. ((Whoa–and that was straight!)
    Our friends eventually straggled back down the hill “completely blown away”. I wonder if any of them today can recall that afternoon though.

    All best,
    ~ Abigail

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    1. There were clouds here so we didn´t see it directly, we saw the consequence. Didn´t take any pictures or anything, we all just stood still down in our meaddow too 🙂

      It inspires me to go on the road and to perform, I feel like I am part of something bigger but the roll I´m on right now is more related to spring time mania I think 😉
      When I began touring I always had a period gigantic depression afterwards, total burn out. I couldn´t work or do anything for weeks afterwards, totally paralysed by shame, discomfort and confusion. This winter something happened though. I decided to embrace that I´m good at communicating and doing media and that I would use for… something bigger than myself. It´s a proces but still that was a defining moment for me.

      I sometimes hear “Yeah, but you make a living writing books and doing tours hence you are 1. dependent on the system you wanted to leave (WE ALL ARE, WE CAN´T LEAVE, THE SYSTEM IS IN THE WATER!) 2. not everyone can do that (NO BUT THAT DOSN´T MEAN YOU CANT GO LIVE IN THE WOODS IF YOU WANT TO- LOTS OF PEOPLE LIVE WILD IN THE WOODS THEY WOULD JUST NEVER TRAVELLED INTO TOWN TO TELL YOU!)
      So I realized that I was sort of the middleman here. The one travelling between the worlds. And then I remembered something from my spiritual days and then it all made sense 🙂

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      1. DM says:

        Andrea, thank you for saying this ….:”When I began touring I always had a period gigantic depression afterwards, total burn out. I couldn´t work or do anything for weeks afterwards, totally paralysed by shame, discomfort and confusion….” You put into words exactly what I experience on a smaller scale after posting something on line of a more vulnerable nature… It happened again this week. …must be something I still need to come to terms with.

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        1. I´ve been thinking about your words DM ever since you wrote them. I think these are such central emotions (shame, doubt, discomfort) for a paradigmeshit- shifting realities is not COMFORTABLE. I know exactly of the feeling you describe. Exactly. And I constantly challenge myself regarding my own emotions, I thought they were somehow expressions of universal truth, that I could always trust my emotions (and to a degree I can) it´s just that our emotional life will be affected when we swim out on the deep water and it´s a big grand illusion to think that it does (or should not).
          Thank you for sharing your thought. The more we do- the more others will know that they are not alone in their emotions….

          Liked by 1 person

          1. DM says:

            Thank you! 🙂 and I’ve been thinking about your request to find a publisher that would be willing to bring your book to print here in America…:-) Have you ever considered going the self publishing, print on demand route then having it for sale on Amazon? I am currently working on my 3rd book…this one is on local history and the prices have come way down on this approach to publishing..just a thought. DM

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            1. Andrea, if DM is willing, would it be all right with you if he would briefly expand (is that an oxymoron?) on the self publishing print on demand? Examples of current costs/quantities and printers/vendors you have used? I used to be in publishing. Retired in 2012. At that time POD was still to costly for short runs. My husband and I are interested in POD book publishing. I ask because it is kind of off topic.

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              1. There is no off topic on this blog. Off topic is the entire point of the blog 🙂
                I´d be happy to hear more too 🙂 (allthough self publishing is kind of big in dk at the moment, as a writer I have a lot of experiences and opinions, pro´s and con´s – I´d like to hear what other people think 😉

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                1. DM says:

                  Renee-Lucie Benoit, thanks for asking…I used Xulon press as my publisher in 2002 and 2006…(I won’t use them again) Prices have come way down since then…I myself am looking for another print on demand publisher for a history book that I’m working on….haven’t settled on a company, but just from what I saw on several home pages with their basic prices spelled out…it seemed I could get something to print for under $500 where before I spent $1500. I would be interested in your (Andrea’s) thoughts/ opinions/ pro and con) as well 🙂 In my case with this History book, I really don’t care if it ever makes it to the best sellers list…it is mostly a vehicle to preserve a lot of original research and pass on to the next generation, rather than have it just languish in a shoe box or on the hard drive of my computer… that’s my story and I’m sticking with it 😉 DM

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                  1. How many books would that have been? For $1500 and $500 final cost? Also what binding style? Presuming one color interior, yes? And full color cover, no? What point stock for cover?Presuming at least 12 pt but more likely 14 pt. Coated with UV one side? Ordinary paper for text? (uncoated 80#). As you can see I had a lot of experience. We used to quote 300 page manuals with plastic coil binding and film coated 18 pt cover stock; full color cover and one color interior. However the interior was actually printed full (4) color since digital at that time didn’t do single PMS colors. The per book price was quite high for a small run (under 500). In 2010 it might be upwards to $15 per book. It could not compete with litho process. Sorry for the technical jargon. To make sense of the feasibility of POD one needs to know the specs of what is being printed and at what quantity. Thanks for hanging in there with me.

                    Liked by 1 person

                  2. DM says:

                    Great questions! At the time, I was just so excited to be able to get my stuff in print vs having to jump through the hoops of trying to find a publisher, I was willing to pay the initial set up fees. I wasn’t rolling in the $ but to me it was worth it. As I recall, I got 25 books for the $1500 and was able @ that point to order 1 or 1000 for $7 or $8 a book. The reason I was thinking it might be an option for Andrea, was if she could find a sponsor who would pick up the tab on the initial set up fees…then let’s say her cost as an author is $10 and they sold for $15, (and because it was POD) she wouldn’t have to risk ordering ahead and stocking inventory.) It sounds like her story would resonate w/ a lot of people like me who can only read english…if it was on Amazon let’s say, it is a win-win . Now when it comes time to publish my local history book, you have given me a lot more information to keep in mind on the technical side. I’m thinking hard cover, w a section for photos, good paper, I’m hoping to do a kick starter for the initial set up costs. Thank you for talking shop! 🙂 DM

                    Like

            2. Thank you DM!!! (Now I’m going back to reply to the main point)

              OK here’s my opinion: Since you are a published author, Andrea, it shouldn’t be that hard for you to find a publisher to pick up an option on any book you’ve written or will write. (Same for you, DM). By the way, I’ve been reading a lot on writing recently and Anna Lamott (Operating Instructions, Bird by Bird) says she wouldn’t be without an agent.

              Personally? I think POD, as DM describes it, is still way too expensive for my blood. I don’t have that kind of money. I don’t think you do either. I agree with DM that finding a “sponsor” would be worthwhile. As an aside, I am going to get in touch with my old printer friends and ask them if the per item cost on POD has gone way down or at all. I don’t have a book in me. Well, I might have a volume of short stories some day but my husband is writing a book on tracking/search and rescue techniques for law enforcement and it is for he that I am looking into the current climate. Yes, thanks for the discussion!

              Liked by 1 person

  3. ncfarmchick says:

    If it’s narcissistic to live according to your own principles, then embrace the title, I say! Really, though, I think it’s just another way people show their discomfort for someone breaking from the herd. Call them names and maybe you can rope them back in. No thanks!

    Like

    1. David says:

      On this question of being “narcissistic,” a few lines of Shakespeare (from Hamlet) come to mind:

      This above all: to thine own self be true,
      And it must follow, as the night the day,
      Thou canst not then be false to any man.

      If that’s narcissism, then it’s not merely okay, but absolutely necessary, that we be narcissistic.

      And about that document, Andrea: I think the idea that “things are changing so quickly, so it’s a whole new world now, etc., etc.” is (at least to a large degree) something that the dominant culture tries to tell us, as a way of control, to make us stop trusting ourselves and stop trusting the tried-and-true wisdom and strategies which, yes, do continue to work.

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      1. I love Shakespeare, truly do 🙂

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        1. David says:

          🙂

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      2. Eumaeus says:

        That used to be one of my favorite quotes. It seems I didn’t used to have a problem believing that I existed. But as night follows the day, I can’t seem to know that I exist for sure. So I’ve either stopped being true or just started. Anyway, I can concentrate on being not a debtor. That’s easier, if slow and plodding.

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      3. Eumaeus says:

        “And you know how I never feel at home?”

        Hmmm… Look at that. How does it feel to be at home? Tell me about that feeling. You can trust your feelings but you have to dig deep.

        How is it going to feel when you’re at home?

        Like

  4. I´ve been wanting to make a document with all the arguments and defence mechanism we have to deal with- us, who communicate. I´d like to make that document (and write down my counterarguments and ways to deal) and give it to all of the young people who are currently breaking free and setteling in the woods or wild. They are going to meet a lot of critisism, this a huge part of our lives, how to deal with that, and I want to help them, I´ve learned a lot, realized a lot. On the other hand I think things might be changing so fast now that it might not be necessary…

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    1. ncfarmchick says:

      Oh, I think such a document would be enormously useful. As fast as times may be changing, that resistance is not something we humans have evolved away from yet (and maybe never will.) But, having some tools to work with would be critical. I think you could really embolden people with such a document (as you already are with your talks, book, and here in this space.)

      Like

  5. LOL we can’t leave–the system is in the water!
    (Brilliant, especially as it refers indirectly to the “boiling frog” meme.)

    Check out Perception Management on Wikipedia. We have been subjected to it for decades and for many it has resulted in our bodies facing one way and our heads the other, completely twisted around.

    Mr Global has so many paid or willing flunkies refuting what our instincts tell us that we lose our command of dialectic and argument. A pithy document could clarify the rhetoric of our existences.
    ~ a

    Like

  6. BeeHappee says:

    Persille has a nice voice, she is so determined, I like that lady. Wish you guys luck.
    Cool name, Hail Forest, it fits you.
    Narcissistic, never been called that in the USA, just weirdo maybe… If they call you anything, that is a great sign! 🙂 One narcissistic little sheep said to everything: “Isn’t that great?” This is not Shakespeare. 🙂 But I think everyone is trying to do their best in what they know how to do. And thank goodness there are some who are good at singing, and writing, growing, dancing, digging, inspiring.

    Abigail, perception management for decades? Way longer than that, way before times of Christ, just easier now…

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    1. Hi bee
      the name, plus the actual program, dates from the Reagan years, designed to counter the anti-war sentiments of the population and the insidious notion that the US might have lost the Vietnam war.
      ~ a

      Like

  7. Eumaeus says:

    Also, I read somewhere that the narcissists come in like they are trying to help you… you know, they’re really just trying to help you… (wish i could find that document now…)

    Like

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