It´s been snowing for days now and I don´t think I will be able to drive out tomorrow.
That´s ok. We have plenty of supplies and it´s not like I have somewhere to go or something to do, I can just sit here.
I like it when the world becomes quiet around me, wraps me in a blanket, creates this dome of home.
It´s only Sigurd and me in the cabin. For a weeks time or so. Jeppe is out dancing, head banging, getting drunk or something (no, he´s making music it´s very, very serious) and I like that too.
I like that music runs in his veins and can´t be killed.
It´s dark moon though. Not found of dark moon. Makes me dream strange dreams of strangers, I wake up with a feeling of… wanting more.
I have two bandages on my fingertips.
Winter is so quiet and slow. Unlike summer which is a buzz.
I could not live in a land where season did not change. I tried once, I lived in Ecuador for a year, I walked barefooted on that white stripe representing the absolute equator of the earth, yet I did not feel it. Earth, I mean. Lately I have had strange sensations, as if my body is earth, as if everything that goes on earth goes on in me too.
Maybe humans are not disconnected at all…
I need winter. My body needs winter. I don´t know about earth beneath me, deep frozen, but I need winter, I heal in the wintertime. In the quiet. In the slow. In the snow.
In the morning I look at the birds. I like to feed them because come summertime and they will eat all of the mosquitos. We´re connected like that. We work in unison.
This is how bird feeders are built in the forest. Plenty of poles around. Tie them together, place spruce in the middle to protect the birds from cats and foxes, a bucket left on the side, filled with sunflower seeds.
Sunflower seeds. Easiest crop in the world. Sunflower sprouts as a salad in the winter. Sunflower seeds for the small birds.
Sunflower seeds when there is no sun around.
Then I mess around with the camera trying to figure out how to make macros (or micros… can´t remember what it´s called which is probably part the problem)
Well well. This is a life of constant trial and error.
Then I go fetch the water
Then I go feed the hens and make sure the hungry winter fox have not solved the puzzle of the doors yet
Then it´s time to feed the cats. They´ve been sitting there waiting for your lazy ass.
You may wonder why we haven´t got a lot of animals and I can easily tell you: because we did what all newcomers do. We planted too many crops, had too many animals, too many building projects, too much foraging, too many guests and too many dreams.
In the beginning.
This is still the beginning.
Patience. Cat patience.
When I look up I see this. He´s just sitting there.
A couple of minutes later he decides it´s a slide.
Then I begin working with the firewood. We´ve had all kinds of pretty wooden baskets but these found in a container behind a supermarket seems to be more wear resistant.
And THEN I empty the bucket of wastewater under the sink and THEN I shovel some snow and THEN I make him lunch and THEN I do the dishes and sweep the floor and THEN I put a shelf up in the mudroom, THEN I organise some boxes of mess and THEN the generator breaks down again and I call the Honda guy who charged us soooo much money to fix it (I might have yelled a little) and THEN I receive a letter that makes me feel real inadequate and stupid and THEN I receive a letter from an old forest friend and it makes me smile
“It´s time to chill, enjoy and take care of our bodies and be in peace with our loved ones- the rest is to be tackled with dignity, a relaxed ignorance towards the lie. Keep your peace. Trust your intuition. It enhances the thought”
And then I knit some.
And then I write some.
And now it´s time to leave the chair.
And now it´s time to make dinner
(If you wonder how come we have light it´s because we have two generators, I wrote about why we have two here)
I had all kinds of things I wanted to blog about (ambitions, energy consumption) but I can´t. Tie the lose ends. Untie the knots.
Make a point. Make it matter.
Healing is not like that I suppose.
Healing is more of a slow process, a flow of images and thoughts. A blanket to calm you.
When it´s dark moon.
People have been emailing me asking if there was any way to support us. I can´t integrate our bank account number elegantly into this post so here they just are. Thank you for your continuous support, it´s so good to know that there are people out THERE who believes in what we are trying to do HERE)
Name of bank: Fryksdalens Sparbank
….and NOW I have to go put the little one to sleep so that I can be gone into Netflix. Yeah. You heard that right. Shitty shitty series about stargates and wormholes. Sorry I´m not Thoreau.