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King frost held us in his iron fist for over a week alternately caressing us and eating us up. That’s what giants do.

What you see in the picture is not snow. Not a lot of snow fell, no, it was frost, king frost all over and minus 20 night and day.

It was nice to see how much better our cabin have become. One extra stove is super duper but it’s more than that. It’s also the mudroom we built – it works as a thermal bridge. And we fixed the loft so now we sleep up there and since heat travel upwards….

Last year we had to place frigolit (it was given to us) before the windows during night but this year we didn’t have to.
The year before that we wore 3 layers of clothes at all times but this year we walked around in just one layer (and woollen underwear off course).
Minus 20 is not by far the coldest it gets here but the week was strange because it was so consequently minus 20 all of time, steady as she goes. Or he. It was king frost. He walked the land but now he’s gone and temperature is changing again, up and down, up and down.

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We had a chimney malfunction during our stay in the iron fist.

Of course it would happen at that time of all times, there are certain laws about this.
A chimney malfunction means: poison smoke everywhere in the house and nowhere to go. So it was minus 20 inside while he fell a tree and used is a fishing rod down the chimney to clear it. Like a throat.
The more I live here the more I identify with the cabin.
We were clogged.
Now it’s better.
Now it’s quiet again.

Speaking of the quiet I wrote this for Dark Mountain. The people at Dark Mountain are the kindest people I’ ve ever met which is strange given their bleak (but in my opinion realistic) view on things. It’s about time. The more I think about it the more the thought materializes in my head: There was a giant robbery of time, the greatest bank robbery ever: someone stole all of our time!
I’m thinking about that a lot. While I lay here in the bed upstairs overlooking the sunrise and the white and the lake and… everything which is not at all mine but it feels like home.
Maybe I’m home.

There is such a quiet here. Quiet like mountains, eternal like snow. There is definitely something happening, it’s happening within me. Maybe some kind of dignity. I don’t know. Maybe some kind of integrity. I’m done with all of the drama, my life won’t be like that, never, not again, I can’t do it. I just won’t. Doesn’t mean that I’m indifferent though, doesn’t mean that I believe in withdrawal. It’s just that I won’t be spun around like a little marionette in someone else’s hurricane.
Or my own.

I learned that from King Frost.
There is time. And in this absolute stillness there is absolute movement it’s just another kind of movement, a movement which is strange to a modern human being but I’m tuning in on it, I get it.
Slowly.
I hold my ground.
Like King Frost.

And there’s another thing too. It’s him. I really hate him sometimes, we really fight but when the shit hits the fan or when the chimney malfunctions or reality breaks or the cold sweeps the land or my head explodes: he’s there.
It takes time to love someone. It takes time to develop relationship and it takes time to change.
I will give him my time as he has given me his. It’s the greatest gift of all.
I think we’ll do all right.
And the kids are all right too.

So what I wish for you dear fellow human being, what I wish for you in the new year is time.
I wish you get the time- or take the time- to look at the sunset. Bathe in frost. Swim in trees. Don’t let anyone take it away from you because you need it to survive.
Give it. Get it.

Thank you for wandering with me, by me, on this strange journey into the wild. Blessed be and all that.
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32 comments on “I wish…

  1. You tell the truth so beautifully, Andrea.
    Blessed be and all that jazz.

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    1. All that jazz, yes 🙂

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  2. Lene Kiel Jensen says:

    Kender du: Momo eller Den sælsomme historie om tids-tyvene og om barnet, der bragte den stjålne tid tilbage til menneskene af Michael Ende. Ellers må du læse den 🙂 Godt nyt år til jer.
    Hilsen Lene

    Like

    1. Åh, ja, det er rigtigt! Læste den med lommelygte under dynen, blev så bange for den store intethed, den grå tåge der åd fantasien. Tak for at minde mig om den bog, det er virkelig en klassiker. Godt nytår og tak for alt, Lene, din salve bliver brugt dagligt her i kulden på de sprunkne læber og vi har stadig honning, hvilken rigdom! Tak 🙂

      Like

  3. BeeHappee says:

    Beautiful, Andrea, so beautiful! Stay warm. We had not had any winter yet, so I am a bit jealous, not about the broken chimney though, but just love real, cold winter. . Cheers and to the happy goat year filled with Time!

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    1. Lots of time to everyone! 🙂

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  4. Rick Knight says:

    King frost is beautiful! Methinks it is the wistful dreams of little dormant ferns, sleeping beneath the blanket of cold, longing for the summer sun!

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  5. Tres Jolie says:

    It is a gift to be with you Andrea. Thanks you so much. I can never say thank you enough.

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  6. Tres Jolie says:

    And I, too, wish you have all the time you want and need and that the new year is blessed for you.

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  7. Ahhhhh, from this princess place of frost and silence to your giant king place. Andrea, grateful for your wisdom and words and real brightness. to time and to timelessness!

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  8. Søren says:

    There is nobody behind the curtain, nobody stole our Time! We gave it all away freely, cos we were scared to death that we could not make it on our own, that we could not live and survive in the deep Woods or on a small boat …..

    we thought we would be safe and free with “them” in charge to make the “though” decisions, to build the jobs, be the heroes and be our Masters and Kings, so somebody stepped in and took the jobs we created for them. They are not evil or bad people, maybe they are just more scared of not knowing than we are ….

    When you have lived through what you feared the most Life becomes ah so clear, nothing really left to Fear. So for all of us to change there is no short cuts, no easy way around it, we have to revisit the darkness, face all our fears …. 2015 adds up to a 8 year, no more Bull shit, no more horsing around

    Andrea you are the Avantgarde, you have left a trail of White pepples for the rest to follow, now all they have to do find the trail

    Enough with the fighting our way to peace, it dont work, never did
    In Stillness there is Peace, where ALL exists

    No more feeding the Black Wolf, no more feeding the fear
    The rollercoster ride was fun for a while, but now it mostly makes us sick, and still nobody dares to jump of ….

    It is done with
    Nobody will ever tell us what We can and can not do
    The new year will be the Beginning of seeing the Truth of that
    The Truth of everything

    Truth is stranger than fiction
    King Frost held my boat in his gentle hands for the last week or so
    It is easing of now, the boat is almost free, ready to take of

    To new beginnings in a universe with no End
    And Boat Drinks, lots of boat drinks 🙂

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    1. Soren, we disagree on some matters and some day I’ll elaborate on it but right now I just want to say thank you for reading and reflecting for saying and for sharing, you bring wonderful perspectives to the table and although we disagree on some matters I think we agree on the most fundamental level. So thank you and happy new year 🙂

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    2. Eumaeus says:

      Soren, my brother, who cares if the Black Wolf travels with a person and the person feeds it? Who cares?

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      1. BeeHappee says:

        Black Wolf will always travel with every person. As far as feeding, I don’t know. . Some balance maybe? As long as it does not hurt anyone, including yourself. If you do not want the black wolf to win, why would you really want to feed him? Accept maybe that the wolf is there. But feed him? How do you explain that, E?

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        1. Eumaeus says:

          I don’t know about every person. I don’t know about balance. I don’t know about ‘no one being hurt’. I don’t know about winning. What does winning look like?

          All I know is that I when I needed my wolf, he was there, traveling with me, there because I needed him.

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      2. BeeHappee says:

        Maybe we are talking about different wolves. 🙂 I was thinking more in terms of black wolf of anger, self-pity, ego, fear and revenge and the light wolf of kindness, forgiveness, peace and understanding.. Both are fighting in everyone’s heart, and you acknowledge both, and you need both at certain times. I needed the black wolf very much today for a little while and fed him 🙂 and he won for a while, and then went to sleep so that the white one can come out. So yes, maybe you are right, maybe you do need to feed both so that all your wolves are at peace and not fighting. 🙂 Not sure if that is what Soren or you meant?? I still say, acknowledge the black wolf, but don’t make him fat. .

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  9. cher says:

    I share your wish, friend. Thank you for such heartfelt words.

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  10. spiril1 says:

    Time. Time is now!
    Happy New Year Andrea ❤

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    1. Happy new year to you too 🙂

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  11. ncfarmchick says:

    Time is abundant if we know where to look. May the New Year bring you all you are looking for. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and words, Andrea.

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    1. Thank you for sharing yours.

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  12. Scott says:

    Thanks Andrea. My family has been very inspired by your blog and we can see our future, even so close as next year, much differently than before finding your blog.

    Enjoy! Happy new year!
    Scott

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    1. Sounds interesting! 🙂

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  13. Scott says:

    Forgot to say, really beautiful photos! Good work!

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  14. Eumaeus says:

    You got the goods, Andrea. You got the words. You’re beautiful. You got the fire. You got it all. You’re there. Abso-flogin-lutely perfect.

    I’m smiling.

    I never go back and read my journals. Who knows if I will? Throwing the journals in the bond fire doesn’t seem like the right answer. That’s not really letting go is it. If you can really let go, then the journals don’t need to get burned, do they? It doesn’t really matter so much at that point.

    Anyway, I’m quite sure that every 4th or 5th thing that I wrote back then (when I just wrote because I had to and not for anyone) was something like ‘this is the end’, ‘turning over a new leaf’, ‘starting a new chapter’, ‘this time and going forward it will be different’, etc…

    So what am I saying? I don’t know…

    Maybe there will always be skin for the snake to shed…

    And you know when they shed, the skin over their eyes clouds over and it pisses them off.

    So don’t fuck with a snake that has cloudy eyes and is getting ready to shed her skin.

    Like

    1. ncfarmchick says:

      I’ll remember this, Eumaeus. Thank you. Maybe that’s why I saw so many shed snake skins this Fall, literally every day for a couple of weeks. I think change is a comin’.

      Like

  15. John Newell says:

    Andrea, you are a poet. Beautifully said.

    Like

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