Tonight I’ll be participating in a panel discussion about revolution arranged by Politiken Talks. Normally I’d wouldn’t leave the forest for a single event but this subjects interests me, I do believe we live in an evil empire (destructive to both people and planet) I do believe resistance is necessary, fight fascism, long live the resistance!
I’ll be back in the forest tomorrow. It’s necessary that I’ll be back in the forest tomorrow. I have things I need to do. In practical real life.
“I gotta go hunting little bear cup. Just for a day. I’ll be back tomorrow”
“Where are you going hunting?”
“In the forest”
“Nah. You hunt in the city!”
Mamma bear laughs
“True little one. I’m going to the city to hunt. I’ll bring back a golden rainbow fish!”
“Can’t you hunt some lego too?”
Then she kisses him on his big fat cheeks. This bear cup is well nourished, this bear cup is thriving, it’s all right if she leaves.
Pappa Bear and Mamma Bear had a real hard conversation, all night they were talking, groaning, sighing, crying, caressing, awakening themselves, or the other, from year long hibernation, it takes a while. Threads that needs to be untangled. Fur balls in the mouth. And so they made plans for the season. Solstice is not far away now, a new beginning is close.
As I slowly walk out of the forest I look to the new moon. It’s does more than shine, it does more than sparkle, it does more than spread light on the frost covered trees, the crisp grass, the thin, thin layer of ice on the lake. It does MORE.
(everything seems so edible)
The sky is baby blue, not dusty, the sky is clear, newborn and somehow male.
The world feels like silver. The lakes are dark blue, black, light blue, quivering with life and as I walk the forest roads I feel such calm. The sunrise. The new moon. The lakes. The breathing forest. My pawns. Gently.
Closer to town I met the school children. They’re standing by the road waiting for the school bus. It’s chilly this morning. They hide in their jackets. They nod to me as I nod to them. We do that out here. In the districts.
Three deer pass the road.
Deer used to be my totem, for the longest time I related so much to deer. Now it’s bear. To be honest it’s raven but I think raven is a bit too popular with the henna crowd so I stick with bear, maybe I have two totems, maybe I have three.
A fox standing still, observing me. Are these horsetracks on the road?
Crisp. Sparkling. Clear. Earth is breathing. Stretching. Moving.
A round ball in the horizon. I can’t keep my eyes from it. Orange. It makes everything orange and rose. The trees are now pink. The lakes are pink. The mountains. The mist. The sun seems feminine in the sense that feminiminiwiminitity is such a force of nature, do not mess with this! The sun!
The moon has no gender. The moon is the observer but really, truthfully, more the alarm clock.
(and nothing has a gender, not even us, these are just ways I try to describe what is indescribable)
I wish I took my children to the forest earlier.
To Sigurd this world is not strange nor exotic, not even defendable, it just IS but for the rest of us it’s different. We CHANGED worlds. We remember something else. Thus we are bound to eternal comparison and this outlandish feeling, maybe it will never go away.
Next year I’ll be 40.
3 of my four children have already left my house.I lived a thousand lives in 20 years, 40 years and now, as I enter some kind of third stage I am clearly perplexed and confused. It is the matter of integrating worlds. This is not an easy task. Past. Present. Future.
The world I come from. The world of society. The world I live in. The world of nature. Can’t one have several worlds at the same time? Are they mutually exclusive? Are they? Couldn’t we built some kind of bridge maybe? Cross this angry river?
I wish I had given my children more of this world of the new moon. I wish they had more of that in their rucksack.
I see them walk down the streets, I see them navigate, I talk to them and I know they thrive it’s just that I wish I had given them more dawn. I wish I hadn’t been so controlled by fear and other peoples expectations plus my own ambition and, honestly, cowardice and egoism.
Clearly one has to make compromises, we all do, even those who live the most radical lives of all- everyone has to make compromises, adapt, change, awaken, fall asleep, awaken. It’s just that we all spent so much time staring at walls or screens and a little bit too little staring at the new moon and the dawn. It seems important to observe the dawn… is what mamma bear thinks as she steadily walks down the road, senses alert, herself awake.
Thoreau said something about paths and tracks that stayed with me, me being someone who tracks and all.
He said that we humans follow the same paths repeatedly, tradition or common laziness keeps us there whereas animals migrate, they sense their surroundings, adapt, move, they make new tracks. This being a yule calendar I’d like to pass on his point. It seems as if we humans tend to forget to change paths once in a while, as if the structures around us are so firm we can’t even move. In another direction. But making new paths as well as returning to old huntings grounds, this is not dangerous, this is only natural, is it not? We move. The world move.
Then I pass a giant flock of geese that have been standing on the same field for weeks now, I have never seen that before. Maybe they’re waiting for the last ones of their flock or maybe this anti-winter or climate change has disturbed their senses, I don’t know, it seems as if they should have flown south a long time ago, what do they even eat?
It disturbs me to see them there. I want to ask them but then I’ll miss my train.
The subject for tonight is revolution. What I have to say about revolution is very simple.
Don’t wait for it. It’s already here. Open your eyes. Look outside!
What a spectacular dawn.
Solstice, solstice, I feel you.