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A gang of 10 maybe 15 middleaged whitehaired sunburnt half drunk Scandinavians, couples, in full armor: full scale teddy bear customes. On the ferry they just don´t give a fuck. In real life they might. Sweet young boy making helicopter balloon hats for the children down in the playroom. A buffet of smoked herring and kale salad, potatoes, gravy, meat, ferry food.
Last glimpses of the city through the loop hole. Full moon over the waters as we sail along  the coast of Sweden. Upwards. Upwards. A yule beer in the cabin before we go to sleep. His new glasses.









A mail from one of the neighbourgs. Snow has fallen. Everything is white and prestine plus she saw bear tracks close to her house yesterday.
You´d think travelling between worlds like this would make you crazy.
It does.

Ate french croissants for breakfast and took a good long last look at the craftmanship of their cakes. Went to a historical museum to do a job about letter litterature, met with the loved ones, down by the ferry. They call that part of the harbour “Amerika harbour”, in that part of the harbour emmigrants and pioneers jumped on the boat hundreds and hundreds of years ago and so they sailed away into the sunset.


In one day I have travelled through many sprees and many realities and many times, I have.

So this post is not about anything. Certainly not yule. This post is from the in- between.
(maybe the point could be something about yule also being a time of in-between? Too far fetched?)


11 comments on “The gift of the in-between

  1. BeeHappee says:

    🙂 Drunk Scandinavians, appropriate.
    One beautiful thing of being in between, you can bring some of the city in your heart back to the country, and you can bring the country with you into the city. It’s always there. This season always remind us that we are always in-between, in-between life and death, in-between light and darkness, in-between this second and the next one, in-between one war and another, in-between love and fear, in-between washing the floors and having to wash them again. 🙂
    Good luck hunting bears! I did not know they still had bears in Swedish forests.


    1. That was so beautiful Bee, thank you for sharing thoughts 🙂


  2. Tres Jolie says:

    I would like to call the in-between The Bridge. I, too, have had this recognition when traveling between my home and the Great Metropolis of San Francisco (or any huge population) and my home by the Great Mountains. Unfortunately I have lost my taste for the Metropolis and it all seems like way too much white noise and I can’t find a place for my eye to rest when I go there. Too much. Much too much. So I skedaddle out of there as soon as I can and find reasons not to go there. But I love reading about your experience and I love that the moon is the same shape as the porthole. Like a window to another world.


  3. CassieOz says:

    I waited until I retired (a little early) from medical practice, to find my sanity and joy again. Our youngest had grown and flown, and we moved to a small farm to produce as much as we could of our own and reconnect with a sense of community. I’ve lost my taste for the city (only 1.5hrs away) and pick and choose the few experiences I want to bring back with me. I find the noise and the crowds and the milling purposelessness of it all overwhelming now. But I bring back the buffer that seeing old friends give me (and they get the cheese and berries). Part of me gives thanks for finding this life at last. I spent the first year berating myself for not having done it sooner but I don’t think I would have had the courage any earlier in life. I’d grown as much as I could on my suburban 1/4 acre ‘farm’ with my bees and chickens, and needed to complete the change (add beef cattle, two dairy cows, a couple of pigs, four sheep, a wood pile…). I’ve never looked back, not even during the inevitable times of despair. They add perspective, contrast and more importantly, the opportunity to practise your ability to endure.


    1. Tres Jolie says:

      Me, too! (But not from medical practice; from the corporate world). My daughter is reliably fledged and except for a bit of help here and there she is on her own. I had grown up in the heartland on the wide open prairie the daughter of artists and kin to farmers. I always felt peace in the corn fields and grass lands but toughened myself to be able to make a living in the city. In the city I always felt like the little girl Heidi from the Swiss fable. The noise of the street was like the wind in the pines. I never felt at home. Too many impervious surfaces. How could the ground breathe, the trees drink and the worms go about their business? Now I’m finally back to the peace of the countryside. I, like you, don’t miss the city one little bit. I do miss my friends and I wish they could come visit. But, alas, they’re too busy. We are very remote. Can’t pop in for a visit. Requires time and planning. I feel despondent sometimes because it’s just me and my man. The people out here don’t share my politics. So we meet on their level and I meet my true tribe here. On the internet. Glad to meet you, Cassie Oz.


      1. It’s funny though because when I do them interviews and stuff sometimes people get very provoked about the fact that I have a blog and a “life” online. People. Community. It feels as if that causes cognitive dissonance for a lot of people. “If you live in the wild you must hate technology and curse the internet!” Why? Really. Why? Allthough I have chosen to live outside the city (it makes me sick, it makes a lot of people sick, let’s be honest about that, not everyone are meant to live in a city) I don’t feel like I should necessarily be against community or reaching out, helping each other. I have one community here in the forest and another one online. That’s just how it is. I’m grateful for both.


      2. Tres Jolie says:

        I think that’s so very interesting that they get provoked. Sitting at a distance lets me comfortably render the thought for consideration. Sitting where you were and having that provocation wash over you cannot be pleasant. Although you are not asking for advice may I be so bold as to offer some. It’s only my opinion. I am ok if you reject it. When they get like that try to feel loving kindness. They are only messed up in the moment and not thinking straight. Like deer in the headlights. Brain and mouth not engaged.

        How can a person respond to that question? It’s not hard to go to You Silly Fool Won’t You Just Think About What You Just Said For a Moment? I’m always trying to explain my self without sounding angry. Sometimes I think this is where the guru cracks into laughter and says something obscure. Or begins a talk on some other subject.

        Yes, you are right. Not for everyone. A dear friend of mine says she feels safer in New York City than the country. Can you imagine that?


      3. CassieOz says:

        It is harder for some folks than others, not to feel attacked when they are confronted with something so different than that which they’ve invested so much of themselves in. No doubt it’s part of what you feel when faced with these reactions too. You have invested so much of your courage, energy, heart, time, love, endurance to get to where you are, than to poking and probing and criticism weighs heavy. Similarly perhaps, those who’ve locked themselves in urban consumerism (and the corporate machine), and who invest themselves for inadequate emotional and spiritual return, can feel invalidated and threatened by the simple existence of ‘other’. Other is always to be viewed with caution and challenge. That is the basis of our human tribalism that has kept us safe for so many millenia of our development. Some will reach outside the box and feel a tickle or a beckoning. Others will find that too confronting (yet) and will withdraw to the relative safety of what they think they know, perhaps to reach again some day as your words encourage them to see a limitless range of personal possibilities.


      4. Tres Jolie says:

        “That is the basis of our human tribalism that has kept us safe for so many millenia of our development.” (xenophobia – fear of strangers)

        I think this is the core of the negative reaction. And as such is not really negative it’s just self protection. So we can forgive. Unless they’re coming at us with a butcher knife and then we need to get out of the way or fight back! Luckily the knife is usually not involved, will not be involved and therefore there’s a chance for the fear to drop away and curiosity take over! Rock on!


    2. You make me smile. Thank you!


  4. Cassie. Thank you for your comment. I know you are right. Sometimes one loses perspective (and by “one” I mean “me”) I shouldn’t whine about this anymore. It comes with the trade I guess. Thank you both for illuminating.


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