The other night I witnessed something I´ve never seen before. In my minds eye it was a superstorm. Lightning every second. A thunder so deep that the ground roared. We were driving through the superstorm heading home after having helped some friends in the south with a building project. Rain hammering. Cars by the side of the road. And these lightnings, my, I´ve just never seen that before. And I´ve never seen the sky so close to the earth. All was one.
Home. The forest was pounding. Trees falling.
Dark. We didn´t turn on the lights.
We just sat there, here, experiencing. It lasted all night, the roaring and the house was shaking like a wet dog, I´m not making that up.
Turned out that the superstorm sparkled a forest fire further east, the biggest in the history of Sweden, thousands are being evacuated.
(so, they said this would come, the crazy weather, I´m recommending dark mountain project if you want to deal with that sorrow)
Another story: I have deleted my Facebook account which has given me plenty of much missed opportunity to actually read. Without interruption. Without sharing. Without jumping back and forth and inbetween a million stories at the same time, no, I´m READING and I´m letting it sink in.
Currently I´m reading the danish philosopher Kierkegaard. I´ve read him before, I didn´t let it sink in.
Authenticity: a quest for subjective meaning.
Authenticity is a matter of clarity, being clear, it is not happiness… so why do you keep insisting, why do people insist on this? What is it about “life is a process” that is so frustrating for so many folks. Why seek dogma and ideology when meaning is subjective. Why strive for this static life? Continuity, security, as if it existed, what lies have we been told?
(I wrote a long rant here about the new age crowd and the self help gurus and the general perversion of the word “authenticity” and the directly harmful way it is being used to sell lifestyle, but I´ve been told that I´m too negative and also that I should be happier and have more hope for the future plus because of the fact that I live a primitive off grid life close to nature I should most definitely not be angry, so I deleted that rant and hey look at me I´m not even complaining about being steretypefied and I am totally restraining myself from writing more about how “being public” fucks me up, I´m letting it go, I´m letting it go, like a dead leaf downstream in the river)
Life is a process.
I am proces.
The universe itself is duality, dialogue, it is moving, always changing, breathing, lucid, liquid, made of stone. So why should we not be?
I deleted my account on social media because I have come to realise that there is more than enough entertainment in the world. More than enough analysis and critical thinking, more than enough hyper reflection. What is lacking, I think, is action.
You cannot know what you know and not act on your knowledge.
It will eat you up if you don´t.
I just had to do something. Whatever. So I did.
The human capability of choosing (which is an action) is fundamental.
And it never stops. It is layered into our existence. We choose. To think that you have not the ability to choose is not only crippling, it is dangerous, it is forest fire, it is death.
Moving to the forest was not like reaching a destination or a goal, it was a choice and that choice keeps having consequences, keeps birthing more choices. So reading Kierkergaard (for instance in “Either – Or”) is healthy for me and there´s so much that I want to say about that, a current of thoughts, I am FILLED with thoughts, actions, choices, I am finally being inspired and it´s not only by reading it is also an awakening of sorts. Really.
So that´s why I´ve been quiet.
Something is happening to me on a deep level and I realise that I want to speak from my depths to your depths, I want to be better at what I do, I want to use whatever talent of potential I have been given, I cannot waste my days, I am OBLIGED.
The forest made me realise that.
Isn´t that funny. You would think the forest would set you free but it didn´t, not at all, it only asked even MORE of me.
That´s a kind of freedom too.
Today I spent a lot of time writing my next book (it is pouring out of me, inside me, superstorm, flash, flash). I worked hard. We always work hard. Life out here is hard.
(Jeppe is taking down trees, shaping them, building a sauna, it is holy!)
… and then I played with Sigurd. We took pictures. Some selfies because honestly the self is quite interesting. Who we choose to be. How.
We are the spooky and weird and kind I think.
Practical note: I´ve got this speech giving thing down now, I´ve practised and polished my methods, I love to do it, also (after having deleted my accounts) I´ve thought a lot about how humans really- really- connect and I´ve become a big fan of personal encounters, real faces, real time, I think it matters so much…. so if you are around these cities on these dates, please stop by.
Also: I would love more gigs so if you want to set something up in your hometown don´t hesitate to write me: email@example.com
PPS. I might stay quiet for a while but it´s not because I don´t like you. Au contraire… as the french say.