No man steps in the same river twice

“Really it´s like you´re all on vacation” she said. I think she might have expected it to be harder out here. And I might have made a point out of stressing the problems, the dilemmas and the trouble. I might not have had the words to describe the beauty or how we chill.
But she´s right you know. We seldom do anything we don´t WANT to do.

A couple of days ago we visited our old place in the forest.
This is the story: 3 years ago we threw everything out, packed our car and drove like crazy to the hills, to the hills, before we die! We settled like pioneers and began to build our own log cabin. You can see our story in pictures here or maybe buy my book (it´s soon to be released in english).
For various reasons we had to leave our old place in the forest.
We found a new place in the forest and built a second log cabin which is where we live now (I took some pictures today of our home) but our old place in the forest is never forgotten.

This is where we were born.
This is a portal into forest life.
This is a battleground. This is a dream scenario. We had EVERYTHING invested in this place. And we had no back up plan, no alternative, this was not (and is not) and “experiment”.
I look to this place with much love. Living here was the hardest thing I ever did.

Visiting our old place in the forest is always bittersweet and emotional, for a long time we couldn´t even go there.
A couple of days ago we did.

 

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Our log cabin is build entirely out of natural materials (except from the nails). The roofing sheets are only placed there temporarily to protect the building.

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There is this old cabin located at our old place in the forest. When winter came (and we had not finished building our cabin) we lived 6 people in there. Summer nights and autumn days were spent in the tipi. I have this memory of me and jeppe and the baby sleeping on a layer of spruce and blankets, it was a chilly autumn night, the fire burned slowly and there were so many stars.

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This is the view. I often though of these pine trees as guardians.

Our old place in the forest is a rough place. It´s in the wilderness but the wilderness has no opinion about you, it just IS, this presence, this being, is overwhelming.

This is where I unlearned and learned anew. This is where I fought until my hands bled.
My kid says “I wouldn´t do it again…. but I´m really glad that we did”

Our first year in the forest at our old place in the forest…. I will never be able to convey the many aspects of this experience. I miss it. I´m proud. I´m sad.

I want to tell you about the river.
We got our water from the river, we washed our clothes in it, we caught our fish and we washed in it. The river flooded and it frooze. The river was alive.
There is a certain spot by the river bed where we would sit for hours, doing nothing really. Sometimes I washed all of our clothes down there, sometimes just the baby but this certain spot was holy. Seeing it again was… holy.

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Last time he was here he was a baby. Last time I was here I was another person. Last time we stepped into the water to cool our feet we were struggling to survive. We are not anymore.

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Now we mostly chill. Even when we work super hard.

Heraklit said “No man steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man”

This life is amazing.

 

 

 

One thought on “No man steps in the same river twice

  1. This is the most beautiful post i ever read . My native language is dutch, So i’m not sure i express myself correctly. I love the way you put your emotions into words. Thanks for sharing. It takes a lot of courage. Helena (who is moving to Sweden in about a year)

    Like

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