The question is this:
We lived for a year in a small cabin while building another cabin, with our bare hands.
We decided to leave those two cabins, not because of their matter but because of their souls. They were not for us and no matter how much we love the place it was not that place… where we could build a home.
We found another place in the forest. A soulful place, a place that feels like ours.
– but there´s not really anything there. Just a ruin of something that was once a very tiny little farm.
While in-between our neighbour lent us a house, close to the ruin.
This is the house we live in now, a small guesthouse down by the lake.
Pressure is rising. How long can we live like this, for how long can we be temporary?
Fixing Lénsætter will take some months. At least.
To find a real house in Sweden is not difficult, in this area it´s even cheap. And they have big houses here. Nice houses.
Wouldn´t the children be better off? Have we not lived on the edge for too long now?
I realize how my modern mind is plastered with thoughts of leaving. It comes natural to me. Always on the hunt, always looking for ways to optimize.
And always scared. What about the children, are we loosers, are we white trash, oh god, these thoughts have been hunting me out here in a way that I have never experienced before.
I´m not that kind of person!
The above image was taken yesterday. Our neighbour took his child and his grandchild out for a summers-first, sailing between the ice floes of the lake. For a moment there everything was black and white. For a moment there was no excuses, no second thoughts, no guessing, no speculating, no analysing, not questioning.
It was black and white. I didn´t even tamper with the camera.